Christmas Isn't Quite The Same: Making Sense out of Grief and Loss During The Holiday Season

Season’s Greetings!

The Holiday Season is upon us! Christmas lights are strung up all over town, the smell of warm apple cider, sweet potato pies, peppermint and hot cocoa fill the air, ornamented Christmas trees are on display within homes, and there is a sense of excitement everywhere you turn!

Christmas Time Is Here!!!!

While this time is marked with much jubilation and merriment, let’s try to keep in my mind that, yes, the holidays are a joyous time to celebrate, however, it’s not a great experience for everyone. There are people who dread this season and day every year. The Holidays brings so many memories to our minds, memories that can never be duplicated for some, as loved ones have passed on, life has changed tremendously, and people find themselves in a completely different place in life than they had expected.

So, while we enjoy the Holiday Season, lets try to be conscious and aware that this time of year, is not always “merry” for others. There is grief, sadness, loss, and even anger that is felt, in heavy doses during this time. Additionally, our feelings are raw and overwhelmingly present, as this season brings emotions and thoughts to the surface, which may have been suppressed, without our knowledge or awareness. I can identify with this, as this has always been one of my favorite times of year. However, since my father’s death, there is an emptiness that is felt, there are certain traditions that can’t go on without him present, and the sense of completeness, which used to be, is now no longer there, because he’s not here. While I’m not bitter, I have to admit I don’t get as excited as I used to, during the holidays. And that’s okay. Maybe that’s my way of grieving my father’s death as well as the experiences I will no longer be able to share in, without him here. While, I miss my personal Santa Claus lol, as I feel the difference and the impact his departure has made on this season and time, I’m able to acknowledge the impact, and go on throughout my day. Yet for others, it’s not that simple. This can sometimes turn into a downward spiral of depression, abuse of substances, neglect of oneself, even thoughts of harm and suicide. I said all of that to say, you don’t know how someone is grieving or dealing with this season internally. Have  compassion on others because you’re never fully aware of what someone is going through. For example, in this particular case, someone may feel like “they’re being forced to watch everyone have the best time of their lives”. While that may seem drastic, this is the perspective from some people’s point of view, based off their personal experience and truth.

I just wanted to open your eyes and shed light on this delicate situation that often occurs. Hopefully, you’ll show the love, grace, compassion, empathy, and kindness that so many people need to feel during this time.

I sincerely pray for everyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one during this time of year. I know your loved one(s) can’t be replaced, but please cherish the memories, and the wonderful life they lived. I’m praying God heals the void their absence has left, and makes life more bearable for you. To those grieving the life they thought they would have, I’m paying that God shows you, your life is not done, but better days are ahead, and the best is yet to come. You can recover from this, whatever your “this” is. For those of you experiencing heartbreak, loneliness, hatred, and defeat, I pray that God heals your heart and all of the pain you are experiencing. I also pray that He gives you the strength to move on and forgive whoever hurt you and caused the pain in your life.

I am choosing to celebrate this season. Honoring all of my loved ones who are no longer here, and looking forward to the future, and what Future Christmases and Traditions might look like. Choosing to be happy in spite of it all.

Praying you all have a wonderful Holiday Season: Filled with God’s peace that surpasses all understanding, and that is capable of healing you from all pain, anguish, and weariness of heart during this time.

Happy Holidays and Blessings,

Special Prayers for you all,

Love,

Charbie